We’ve Talked About the Weather. Now What?

Talking to people who are older is a great way to offer stimulation, companionship, even entertainment, but it can be stressful as well as you struggle for the ‘right thing to say’. You have exhausted the topics of weather and what they had for lunch. Now what?

Relax. You will find you can talk to an older person about almost anything. Not only that, but older people are very interesting.

Here are a few ideas to get the conversation going.

Start with small talk. Not only will it warm things up, it gives you a better idea of how much they want to talk and how much energy they have.

·         What have you been up to today?

·         How are you feeling today?

And of course, the old stand-bys:

·         What did you have for lunch? and What do you think about this hot weather?

Ask them about their family to learn more about their background.

·         Do you have any good stories about Uncle Dennis?

·         Tell me about the time you caught Dad sneaking out!

·         How did you choose your children’s names?

·         How did you meet your wife?

Ask about their childhood; it will help them share fond memories.

·         Did you have pets as a kid?

·         What was your favorite book growing up?

·         Did you ever get in trouble with your friends?

·         Who were the big celebrities when you were younger?

·         What town did you grow up in and what was it like?

·         What was a favorite gift you received as a child?

Ask them for life advice. They have a wealth of experience and will likely be flattered you asked.

·         What is your advice for living a full life?

·         If you could do one thing differently, what would it be?

·         I’m having a hard time choosing between two jobs. Which one do you think is better?

·         What is more important, making money or enjoying your work?

·         Is there any advice you would give a person my age?

 Ask them about current events, especially how they compare to the way things were in the past.

·         What is a piece of technology we have now that you never thought you’d use?

·         What is a big storm that you remember from your childhood?

·         What is a good movie or tv show you’ve recently watched?

·         Who was President when you were in high school?

·         What was life like when you were 20 years old?

 These are just a few ideas, but as we said earlier, you will find older people can talk about anything.

 Finally, a couple hints on how to greet the person and establish rapport. If you already know the person, let them know you are glad to see them by saying hello with a smile. Give them a hug if appropriate – and if you and they are feeling healthy. If they have memory problems, greet them with a label alluding to who you are; for example, “Hello Grandpa!” reminds them you are their grandchild.

 If you don’t know the person, introduce yourself and offer a handshake. Just remember to use a softer approach to your handshake with older people as they may have arthritis in their hands. Use formal language like Mr. or Mrs. to show respect and avoid overly familiar terms like “dear” if you don’t already have a relationship with them.

 Don’t be afraid to repeat yourself. Shorten your sentences, slow down and give the older person time to process what you are asking. Stick to one topic at a time.

 If appropriate, bring something along to stimulate conversation like a family photo album. Helping them with a chore or even making a cup of tea together is a great way to show you are interested in them.

 Remember that older people are just people like you. Older people were once your age and they have experienced many of the feelings and life events as you. Treat the person with the same dignity and respect you would expect from others and look for common ground that connects you.